Fix Me Please

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Is the in between pointless?

I hate spending the whole day alone, because Im given hours to think about and evaluate my life too much. The good seems alright, the bad seems worse, and the in between seems pointless. And that leaves me wondering where the heck I am!

I want to know what my future holds. ...I want to know who I'm going to marry and when and how many kids and what job I'll have and where I'll live and the color of the gutters on my house. I want to know all of that so I can stop worrying about where things are going to end up. I want to know that I'll graduate PTA school within a year like I have been aiming for for the past five years and that I will be good at it, and not only good at it but KNOW its where I belong. I want to know that I'll never be divorced and that my husband loves and adores me and admires the woman that I am..and my kids, I just want to know that they wont have any health problems that they will just be normal kids that I love more than anything and have the wonderful opportunity of parenting and teaching them things. I want to say that I will know that my life is going to end with the "happily ever after." But honestly I dont care for the "happily ever after" I just want the chance at making my life all that I dream for it to be! Is our greatest things just our dreams or can it be our reality?

I want and wish so much in my life, I'm setting these unreachable goals and I'm so mad at myself for not being able to reach them. Example: being happy for a week. They say happiness is a state of mind or a choice. Well I say sometimes its hard to do or be what you should.

Sometimes I wish that I could slip into a coma for just a few weeks. Just a week where I don't have to worry about anything....literally, nothing! Almost as though I could switch my brain to "OFF" and all I think about is who I want to be where I want to go in life. Then I can come back to life and just be recharged with this undying thrill for life and my calling. Just pick up where I left off and turn things around for the better...most of you say oh you just need a vacation, or oh thats life...suck it up. But.....

Wouldnt it be nice?


too hopes, dreams, and the fun stuff
Casey Lynn

Thoughts

Its funny the things we humans do...
Like how we hang on to the things we should let go first
How we hang on to the things that are all wrong for us.
Its always the things that hurt us most that we cling to for dear life.
The worst situations that make us feel completely wrong and forget who we are.
The ones that hurt us the most that we give the most to.
The ones that are all wrong for us but we are sure we can make them right.
And the ones that treat us like gold we throw away.
Whats the reasoning to the unexplained?

Seems like the relationships I never put fourth effort in were the ones that loved me the most. But the one I care so much about is the worst one. I started out not caring in the beginning of that one though...at what point did I start caring to the point of no return. Even when he showed his true colors and treated me the way he did I still couldn't walk away. What death trap is that and what finally wakes us up to realize this? Are men just really looking for emotionally detached women so its that much easier when it ends. Seems like they are never the one attached!

pray for me...
CLC