I AM

I just get frustrated.

I'm waiting on something to happen that's never going to happen.

I'm listening to lies that you always tell me.

I'm believing you care about me and want to change and make us work when all you care about is yourself.

I'm sitting here asking myself how do I love two men that are exactly the same.

How do I attract the most selfish men?

I saw a friend I grew up with at work today and it just made me realize how unhappy I am with my life. She has graduated college, she is engaged, she has a good job making good money and she is currently finishing her masters about to be making even more money and even more successful. I am SO jealous. Not in a envious "I hate her" way...Just a I wish I could have a ounce of her success way. Why cant i be successful? Why cant I graduate college? Why haven't I found a decent guy that will treat me good? Why haven't I done anything that I thought I would have by now? I just feel so inadequate and incompetent and like I am not worth a shit. I haven't done anything with my life and the sad thing is I am busting my ass to try to be someone and it isn't working.