S'Mores

...RANDOM THOUGHTS IN NO SPECIFIC ORDER...

*I have shitty "friends". So shitty that you cancel on them once and your a "shitty friend" that is never there for them and doesn't care or call.

*All of my "friends" are only "friends" when its convenient for them.

*I went on a date with a guy that is taller than me. Actually he makes me look short. He was 6'5 (I know..wow...right)

*I'm talking to my ex again....I know...not good...right

*Joined my old kick ass gym again, the one that my ex's step mom works at and my ex goes to....refer to sentence above. And before you ask..me joining has nothing to do with him!! so there.

*I still love my ex...yeah...really not good..I know

*I want some super cute brown boots that are exactly what I want, that's hard to find. They are only $199 though...yeah guess I will chance that and see if those go on sale. They are super bad ass though =(

*I am going camping this weekend!

*I just realized about 5 minutes ago that I want have cell phone reception nor will I be able to charge my phone. Awesome, that'll be weird.

*Seriously how do you pack to go camping...I never camped much as a kid. I thought u just pack shorts, t-shirts, panties, and a swim suit. Everything else like showering and brushing your teeth is optional, after all it is camping. If anything I have ALL of those and cant go a day without brushing my teeth so I guess I'm good.

*Bedtime.

camp fires, sleeping bags, and bugs

CLC

Missing

Here today and gone tomorrow....

A guy I went to school withs step mother and his father and 17 year old sister were found dead yesterday in their house. Carbon Monoxide poisoning. Died in their sleep sometime during the night. Life is so unpredictable. Here today gone tomorrow. Its sad. What if we don't get to finish or say what we intended to say or do the next day? My heart breaks for their family and friends. My thoughts and prayers are with them. I pray for comfort and understanding in this tough time.

Change...Please!

Is ready for change...I really need some change in my life Lord

CLC

the last time...

I hate the fact that I have to drive the back roads behind my ex-boyfriends house so that I am not tempted to look and see if he is home on my way home...

I hate the fact that I expect to see him driving around town...

I hate the fact that when I go to grab a t-shirt out of my clean laundry stack I always grab his shirt that he kept at my house...

I hate the fact that MY car reminds me of HIM...

And why in the heck do I wish that he'd be in my bed with me for just one more night?

Just to reassure myself and once again remind myself of the things I passed up I will compile a list..maybe for future reference. But I'm claiming this the last post "deep thoughts" on him.

-Do you want to date someone that is all about them self?

-Do you want to date a guy that believes you watching him play 5 hours of Xbox is a fun Friday night?

-Do you want to get involved with a guy that's parents have no interest in getting to know you better or even talking to you after you've dated 7 months?

-Do you want to date or get involved with a guy that doesn't have the same religious beliefs as you or even make a point to go to church with you?

-Do you want to date a guy that is a MAN but still has no responsibility because his parents do everything for him and enable him?

-Do you want to date a guy with no vision in life or goals?

-Do you want to date a guy you cant talk to about everything?

-Do you want to date a guy that doesn't make you feel appreciated at all?

There is better and the Lord and has promised you better!

He hasn't forgotten you or forsaken you. Maybe this relationship was a test and a lesson. Don't be bitter and don't hate that person that hurt you forever. He was sent in your life for a reason and you were in his for a reason as well. We might never know why and I am not asking for answers anymore as to why the Lord sen HIM and how he could allow him to hurt me so bad. I am past that, I am not looking for answers I am looking for healing in the Lord and at the future. The Lord binds the broken hearted.

to healing hearts,

CLC

BAD DAY???

I Dont See Myself When I Look In Your Eyes...Thank God For That

What do you do when you get rid of the thing that was making you unhappy and your still unhappy? How long do you give yourself to get over the losing someone to unhappiness before you evaluate your life to see if your happy without them like you thought you'd be? Could it have just been that person alone making us unhappy or were we unhappy before them and did we throw out a good chance at something.

The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying; the only thing more impossible than staying was leaving...

Why do hang on to things we know want work? And what about the crappy situations we put ourself in! Seems like the guys that lie,cheat, and hurt us are the relationships we want to work the most. Whats the reasoning in that!?

If I know he made me unhappy and I know that we weren't compatible then why was I so determined to work at it and what made me want and love him even more? Where does all that love come from for one person that just isn't right for you? After its all said and done I'm not bitter, I don't regret dating him and wouldn't change things. I just don't know what to do with the hurt and emptiness inside I feel for that person. I have never felt more wounded by someone or something. It seems the older we get the more we hurt after failed relationships. Pray for me and my shattered heart!!

Situations

~Some of the most beautiful flowers grow alone and out poop.
If your alone and in a shitty situation take heart that out of some of the most alone and literally crappy situations comes the most beautiful things. Look at some of the most beautiful flowers and plants that grow out of poo! If a flower can do it you and I can to!!